A Prayer for Hypocrites
By Kelly Balarie

“If anyone says, ‘I love God,’ and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen. “ 1 John 4:20

I was livid at myself. Just livid.

Because, it seemed, I was on a rampage of “calling people out.” You know what that is, right? It is when you: 1.) see another’s faults on display 2.) you let them gnaw your heart and 3.) you blast the person.

I let my words fly out like a swarm of bees ready to attack! For those who didn’t get stung, I kept my words inside and gave them a cold-shoulder sting that probably felt worse than any kind of physical one. I was on a rampage. I literally hated myself for it.

Maybe because I didn’t want to be like this type: hyp·o·crite ˈhipəˌkrit/ noun

1. a person who pretends to have virtues, moral or religious beliefs, principles, etc

I was convicted. I was convicted as if a knife struck my heart.

I thought, “Oh God, I don’t want to be one of them, but I just may be. I just may be one who acts so above the law, I have put myself above the love of Christ. I have set myself so high, that I have removed myself from the humble and needy places where one let’s him soak in.”

I don’t want to be one who professes to know God but denies him by their works. I don’t want to be one that God calls “detestable, disobedient, unfit for any good work.” (Titus 1:6)

And I certainly don’t want to think I am religious, only to deceive my own heart. For God says this kind of religion is worthless (James 1:26).

Lord, I am not above you. I am not above the world ruling. I am not the master of all things, nor the creator. But, I am your servant, your child, and your love. Help me reside in that place. Help me see my need and confess it to you. Help me be quick to look at myself when I am prone to look over to others. Thank you that you have wild and abundant grace for me. It will not cease. It will not end. It will not let me go. I ask you to restore me in fullness with you. Teach me your ways and help me be receptive to them, so I will not fall. Help me Lord. You rule and I surrender all my ways, thoughts, opinions, perceptions and decisions to you. Amen.